Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

Hey there, fellow business owners and nonprofit executives! Today, we're staying with Stephen Covey and presenting another one of his powerful principles.

We’re going to dive into one of the most powerful habits, Habit #5: "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." (You can read more in his timeless book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.)

In our fast-paced world, it is all too easy to get caught up in our own agendas, personal assumptions, and “map of the world” viewpoints.

We often are so eager to make our voices heard, to pitch our ideas, and to convince others of our brilliance. We forget one crucial thing - listening and truly understanding.

One of my favorite phrases for leaders is, “It is NOT about you.”

We are humans, and most individuals are focused on what’s in it for me. (WIIFM) We too need to be focused on them, and discover their needs, wants, interests, problems, etc.

Have you ever observed this in a meeting? A salesperson rattles on about his company’s product, service, or marketing strategy. It is obvious he has done research on his prospective client. He also does not ask key questions to “seek first to understand.”

How about this scenario? You are meeting with a nonprofit Executive Director, who would like your company to be a strategic partner and to sponsor an upcoming event. Unfortunately, the E.D. talks for 30 minutes about his organization, its mission, and how great it is. He assumes you too must be as excited as he is.

“Seeking first to understand” opens you up to infinite possibilities.

It allows you to gather valuable insights, perspectives, and data. It allows space to connect at a meaningful level. It builds trust, fosters collaboration, and ultimately leads to deeper, more productive relationships.

Let’s put this principle (Habit #5) into practice in your own enterprise. Here are a few strategies that will help you to first understand…better.

Practice Empathy

Empathy is the cornerstone of understanding.

Put yourself in the shoes of your employees, customers, and stakeholders. Try to understand their feelings, motivations, and challenges. You'll forge deeper connections.

You will create a supportive and collaborative environment. This mindset leads to higher morale, increased loyalty, high performance, and happy clients.

Suspend Judgment

We all have biases and preconceived notions that can cloud our judgment. Instead, practice acceptance, non-resistance.

Resist the urge to assume, label, or categorize people. Instead, focus on being open, vulnerable, and seeing and hearing them.

You create a safe space for open dialogue and collaboration, which leads to richer discussions and better outcomes.

Seek Feedback

Feedback is a powerful tool for growth and improvement. Seeking it is an opportunity to learn and grow.

What are their thoughts, suggestions, and concerns? By listening with an open mind, you'll gain valuable insights that can help you understand and refine your strategy and approach.

You demonstrate humility and a willingness to learn from others. This builds trust and fosters a culture of continuous improvement.

Encourage Diverse Perspectives

Diversity of thought leads to innovation and better decision-making. Seek first to uncover unique perspectives and experiences.

Create a culture where different viewpoints are not only welcomed but celebrated.

You create a culture of inclusivity where everyone feels empowered to contribute their ideas. This can lead to improvement, innovation, and being #1 in your market.

Be Data-Driven

Insights are key. Where do they come from? Big data, small data, it’s everywhere.

Take the time to ask WHY. Take the time to gather and analyze relevant data. Take the time to come up with conclusions and recommendations. You may trip over disruptive opportunities!

Scroll through a company’s website. Do a Google search. Looking at LinkedIn profiles. Viewing annual reports. Study sales metrics and KPIs. Assess customer feedback. Benchmark and uncover patterns and market trends.

Ask Quality Questions

You do your research and complete your homework before the meeting. You know more about the person you are meeting with, and you know more about his or her company than they do.

You also know their WIIFM! (motivations)

You ask team members for their input. You think about your assets and WIIF-You. And you take the time to come up with thoughtful, open-ended questions in advance. (objectives, value, metrics)

You are now armed!

Understand Your Audience

You know your audience demographics, psychographics, motivations, and purchasing behavior. From your research, you now understand the same for your prospective client or donor.

Is their target audience, your audience? If so, this is gold!

By truly understanding your audience, you can tailor your messaging and offerings to better meet their needs.

Remember, seeking first to understand isn't just a one-time thing – it's a mindset.

Practice it and become a more effective leader. You will build stronger relationships, make better decisions, and drive greater success for your business or nonprofit organization.

Be an Effective (Active) Listener

Are you playing double-Dutch? Don’t just nod your head, think about what you want to say, not really hear, and anxiously wait to get in to speak.

Truly listen to what others are saying – their words, tone, body language, facial expressions, and their surroundings. Put yourself in their shoes – really care. Be empathetic and respectful. Build rapport and trust.

Remember, seeking first to understand isn't just a one-time thing – it's a mindset.

Mastering this principle requires ongoing practice, patience, and humility.

You will become a more effective leader. You will build stronger relationships. You will make better decisions. And you will drive greater success for your business or nonprofit organization.

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Your team, your customers, your top line revenues, and your bottom-line profit (surplus) will thank you!